Helicopter Parents: Strategies for Landing
Helicopter parenting is a loaded label that some parents either wear with pride or are quick to deny. When we hover out of concern, what does that do to our children? While we crowd in our homes during lockdown, it is a good time to ask yourself if you give your kids the space they need for positive development.
Helicopter parenting isn’t just about being nervous at the playground. Helicopter parents is a loaded label, and we define it in this episode as a hovering parent trying to control an outcome.
4:27 WHEN WE CAN’T GO TO THE ER AS EASILY
We discuss the pragmatic balance of reducing the risk of physical play during a pandemic when the same medical care isn’t as straightforward of an option.
7:19 HELICOPTER PARENTS DURING PLAY
Lynn gives examples of parents intervening in play that isn’t helpful.
She answers a listener’s question about her 6 year-old’s right to privacy and potty language habits while using Facetime.
10:12 HELICOPTER PARENTING AND ACADEMICS
Lynn talks about the opportunities for parents who helicopter and intervene to step back in this new pass-fail scenario where the stakes aren’t so high and encourages ways to inject more independence with students.
13:06 WHAT DOES HELICOPTER PARENTING MEAN?
Lynn explains that academic helicopter parenting is a fear-based effort not let the chips fall where they may, to not let a child fail out of fear of failure, being judged, or other reasons.
15:54 BRINGING UNSCHOOLING INTO THE HOME
We talk about the opportunity to introduce the importance of learning life skills from parents around the home, and discuss the chance to introduce unschooling opportunities—the chance for child-led learning on topics they choose over the summer.
Here’s the remote learning platform we are using.
20:23 NEARLY EVERYONE HELICOPTERS IN AT LEAST ONE AREA
Some parents intervene more in their children’s school work, the safety of their play, their friendships or appearance. Lynn asks how parents might step away now from those areas and see what happens when the stakes aren’t so high.
24:41 THE CRUX OF THE HELICOPTER PARENTING
We want to protect our kids from hard feelings. Lynn gives examples of moms who won’t buy a pet so her daughter won’t have to grieve for it when it dies.
Her "Mr. Rogers Talk" is referenced. Watch it here.
Lynn outlines the key parenting habit that is a predictor of anxiety disorders developing in children.
28:26 HOMEWORK FOR PARENTS
Lynn gives parents to some homework to think about and some language to use with their kids.
We suggest you join the Facebook group so you can submit questions for future episodes.
A full transcript is available on our site.
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